1914-09-14aa

The proceedings of the Hamilton Police Court were always reported in Hamilton’s three daily newspapers.

          For the reporters assigned to gather the names of those charged with relatively small criminal breakings of the law, the work could get repetitive.

          Charges of public drunkeness, petty theft, and trespassing were frequently, if not daily, brought before the Police Magistrate.

          In the fall of 1914, there was, of course, considerable public consciousness about the war in Europe. So a Spectator reporter at the police court on Monday September 14, 1914 decided to write up his summary of that day’s proceedings creatively, using war metaphors.

          His report follows :

          “The siege of Liege was as tame as a revival meeting in comparison to the siege of booze in a vacant lot at the foot of Wellington street Saturday evening.

          “Word was flashed to central police station that oceans of perfectly good ‘licker’ were being destroyed by a thirsty throng of eleven.

          “Sergeant Lowery and a squad of braves stormed the lot, and by a clever flank movement rounded up the sippers of the horrid stuff.

          “The carnage was awful. Dead soldiers strewed the field, and two kegs that were in a dying condition were rescued by the minions of the aw.

          “The booze punishers paraded before throne, licked parched lips, pleaded guilty, and expressed penitence.

          “The magistrate, too, expressed himself. He jotted down eleven fines of five dollars per.

          “Those who contributed were Jacob Smyth, Peter Nelson, Peter Thompson, Barney Fagan, James Kelly, A. Dean, David Dodd, William Humphrey, Clarence Culp, James Phillips and Peter Clark.” ¹

               ¹ “Police Broke Up Hilarious Party : North End Gang Was Celebrating on Vacant Lot : Police Found Ground Strewn With Dead Soldiers.”

          Hamilton Spectator. September 14, 1914